In the past, it was a big disgrace if women were no longer virgins before getting married. Back then, women all over the world were seen as pure if they had clean thoughts and moved in a graceful manner. If a woman was not like that, she was unfortunately seen as worse than a criminal and even shunned by her family.
Our forebears placed such great emphasis on purity that women were even tested by doctors to prove that they remained virgins prior to getting married. In some societies, they required the sheets used by the newlyweds to be presented to a waiting crowd the following morning. Blood on the sheets was seen as confirmation that the bride was indeed a virgin.
Times have definitely changed and premarital sex is no longer considered a taboo. Of course, there are still societies that emphasize the virginity of women before marriage, but more people are finding it acceptable for women not to be. Or they just turn a blind eye if they find out that the woman is no longer a virgin. But in general, it has become a non-issue if women are no longer virgins when they get married.
Here are some possible reasons why.
Number one: Pressure from peers.
Once someone hits his or her teenage years, it becomes necessary to fit in. It is at this age when people want to be part of the “cool crowd”, and this yearning happens all throughout life. People, especially women, easily share whatever goes on with their lives with their friends and sometimes, their sex lives become a topic of conversation. These conversations steer women, especially virgins, to reconsider their choice of remaining virgins, particularly if being a virgin in their 20s and beyond is ridiculed in their social circles.
Number two: Pressure from their partners.
Unfortunately, there are men that see women, especially virgins, as conquests. Women are objectified, and getting their virginity is the grand prize. Sadly, it has become common place for some men to pursue women when they discover that these women are virgins. They wine and dine them and tell them various reasons to make them agree to give up their virginity. It’s common for these men to tell women to sleep with them to prove that these women really love them. Or worse, they don’t give them the choice.
Number three: Biological urges.
Intercourse is natural. Humans and animals alike get the “urge” and that is normal; biology has made it so. Both men and women become horny every now and then after they hit puberty and it is up to them if they choose to act on it.
If they ignored it before because they were afraid of the repercussions, they can now act on it because of the relaxed mindset people now have in matters involving sex. They view their “feeling horny” just like they view an itch. The best way to relieve it is to act on it. This is the reason why some refer to having sex as “just scratching an itch”.
Number four: Curiosity.
People learn about sexual intercourse through different ways, whether through the birds-and-the-bees talk with their family, through sex education in schools, or by accidentally stumbling upon it. Since the topic is unfamiliar to them, they get curious and even tempted to satisfy their curiosity, and thus engage in the act. They want to know for themselves what sex really is all about and if the hype is real.
Number five: Detachment from religion and tradition.
Many concepts involving virginity come from the different religions and cultural traditions. They preach things like sex is sacred and should only be done when one gets married, that virginity and remaining chaste is vital in order not to displease God, that virginity is the best gift a woman can give to her husband, and so many others.
However, these ideals are no longer seen as the gospel truth, especially in atheistic and liberated societies. They view sex as an act and nothing more and that virginity is just a concept. Since they no longer follow their churches’ teachings as well as that of their culture, they no longer have to restrain themselves from doing the act.
Number six: Influence of media.
In the past, even simple kissing scenes in films were seen as very vulgar and controversial. Nowadays, these scenes have become common place in films and TV shows. For them to be talked about, these shows and films will add sex scenes to attract an audience. Sex has become normalized in media. The lines between reality and fiction are becoming blurred, especially with matters involving doing it. Accessibility of adult films have also contributed to the openness and acceptance of premarital sex as normal in current times.
Number seven: For pleasure.
Sex can be a pleasurable experience – no one can deny that. With the right partner and the right skills, women can get a different kind of fulfilment they cannot find anywhere else. This pleasure-seeking behavior is what drives them to have sex and possibly experience orgasm.